The Land of Khyber

The Land of Khyber is written by Teepu Mahabat Khan.

Khyber, the mountain corridor in the north-west of Pakistan, through which all invaders of the Indian sub-continent, from Aryans to Romans to Mughals to Afghans, entered the region, has held strange fascination for wanderers and adventurers dating back to the early dates of recorded history. Khan writes that "the range of gaunt and craggy mountains, the gorges and ledges of the Khyber Pass still echo with the thuds of the horses of great conquerors, traders, missionaries and visitors".

Teepu Mahabat Khan has done a commendable job with an all-encompassing account of the land, frequently surrendering prose in favour of imagery, using pictures to depict “something majestic” about the area that has not been adequately covered in other books on the subject.

The book not only brings the magic and glory of the region, history, geography, economy and culture, but also elaborates details of spell binding features that would interest a visitor to the area, like the steam safari, thus acting as a guide.

Understanding Engineers

Understanding Engineers - Part One

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passio and mystery he found there.

The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" wondered the artist. "Yeah," said the engineer. "If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."

Understanding Engineers - Part Two> >

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

Understanding Engineers - Part Three

(Q.) What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
(A.) Mechanical Engineers build weapons -- Civil Engineers build targets.

Understanding Engineers - Part Four> >

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"


Understanding Engineers - Part Five

Two engineering students were walking across campus when one said to the other, "Where did you get such a great looking bike?"
The second engineer replied, "Well, I was just strolling along yesterday minding my own business when a beautiful woman rode up on this bike. She threw the bike to the ground and took off all her clothes. In a soft whisper, she said, 'Take what you want.'"

The second engineer nodded approvingly, "Good choice! Her clothes probably wouldn't have fit."

What I want in a man.....

What I want in a man, Original List (age 22)

1. Handsome
2. Charming
3. Financially successful
4. A caring listener
5. Witty
6. In good shape
7. Dresses with style
8. Appreciates the finer things
9. Full of thoughtful surprises
10. An imaginative, romantic lover

What I want in a man, Revised list (age 32)>

1. Nice looking - preferably with hair on his head
2. Opens car doors, holds chairs
3. Has enough money for a nice dinner at a restaurant
4. Listens more than he talks
5. Laughs at my jokes at appropriate times
6. Can carry in all groceries with ease
7. Owns at least one tie
8. Appreciates a good home cooked meal
9. Remembers birthdays and anniversaries
10. Seeks romance at least once a week

What I want in a man, Revised list (age 42)>

1. Not too ugly - bald head okay
2. Doesn't drive off until I'm in the car
3. Works steady - splurges on dinner at McDonalds on occasion
4. Nods head at appropriate times when I'm talking
5. Usually remembers the punchlines of jokes
6. Is in good enough shape to rearrange furniture
7. Usually wears shirt that covers stomach
8. Knows not to buy champagne with screw-top lids
9. Remembers to put the toilet seat lid down
10. Shaves on most weekends

What I want in a man, Revised list (age 52)

1. Keeps hair in nose and ears trimmed to appropriate length
2. Doesn't belch or scratch in public
3. Doesn't borrow money too often
4. Doesn't nod off to sleep while I'm talking
5. Doesn't re-tell same jokes too many times
6. Is in good enough shape to get off couch on weekends
7. Usually wears matching socks and fresh underwear
8. Appreciates a good TV dinner
9. Remembers your name on occasion
10. Shaves on some weekends

What I want in a man, Revised list (age 62)>

1. Doesn't scare small children
2. Remembers where bathroom is
3. Doesn't require much money for upkeep
4. Only snores lightly when awake (LOUDLY when asleep)
5. Forgets why he's laughing
6. Is in good enough shape to stand up by himself
7. Usually wears some clothes
8. Likes soft foods
9. Remembers where he left his teeth
10. Remembers when...

What I want in a man, Revised list (age 72)

1. Breathing.....

Surgeons Talk

Four surgeons were taking a coffee break and were discussing their work.

The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered."

The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order."

The third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded."

The fourth one said, "I like to operate on managers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their ass are interchangeable."

Business Sense

A Patel walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He says he is going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the man hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the
loan. An employee drives the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the man returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer says, "We are very happy to have had your business,and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we are a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

The Patel replied, "Where else in New York can I park my car for two weeks for 15
bucks?"

Don't Mess with Old Ladies

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer : Ma'am, you were speeding.
Older Woman: Oh, I see.
Officer : Can I see your license please?
Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.
Officer : Don't have one?
Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.
Officer : I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
Older Woman: I can't do that.
Officer : Why not?
Older Woman: I stole this car.
Officer : Stole it?
Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
Officer : You what?
Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2 : Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?
Officer 2 : One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.
Older Woman: Murdered the owner?
Officer 2 : Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.
The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2 : Is this your car, ma'am?
Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.
Officer 2 : One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license. The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.
The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
Officer 2 : Thank you ma'am,one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.
Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding too.

MORAL: Don't Mess With Old Ladies

Really True

It is impossible to lick your elbow.

A crocodile can’t stick it’s tongue out.

A shrimp’s heart is in their head.

People say “Bless you” when you sneeze because when you sneeze, your heart stops for a mili-second.

It is a physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

A pregnant Goldfish is called twit.

More than 50% of the people in the world have never made or received a telephone call.

Rats and horses can’t vomit.

The “sixth sick sheik’s six sheep’s sick” is said to the toughest tongue twister in the English language.”

If your sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze, you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

If you keep your eyes open by force, they can pop out.

Rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants.

Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times.

The cigarette lighter was invented before the match.

Thirty five percent of people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

A duck’s quack doesn’t echo, and no one knows why.

In the course of an average lifetime you will, while sleeping, eat 70 assorted insects and 10 spiders.

Most lipstick contains fish scales.

Like fingerprints, everyone’s tongue print id different.

Over 75% of people who read this try to lick their elbow.

We Have Learnt Nothing From History

We have never learnt from History is about Pakistan's Politics and Military Power by M. Asghar Khan. In this book, Air Marshal (Retired) M. Asghar Khan presents an insider’s view of Pakistan's struggle for democracy from the 1960s to the present.
The book expounds on the early entry of Pakistan’s Armed Forces into the country’s politics and the author's opposition to military rule that began in 1968 with the movement for the restoration of democracy. This movement resulted in the ouster of President Muhammad Ayub Khan in 1969 after eleven years of military rule. The book concludes with the author’s assessment of General Pervez Musharraf’s five years in power consequent upon the re-entry of the Armed Forces in the country’s politics in 1999, after a brief and tumultuous interlude with democracy.

M. Asghar Khan was born in Jammu, Kashmir in 1921, and was educated at the Prince of Wales’s Royal Indian Military College Dehra Dun. He joined the Indian Military in 1939 and was commissioned in the ‘Royal Deccan Horse’ in 1940. He is the author of a number of books, Pakistan at the Cross Roads, Generals in Politics, and Islam, Politics and the State—The Pakistan Experience.

Islam, The State, and Population

Islam, State and population edited by Gavin W. Jones and Mehtab S. Karim

Much has been written about the attitude of Islam to family planning and population control. In the past it has mainly taken as its starting-point the observation that Muslim countries and Muslim minorities in Non-Muslim countries tend to have high fertility. It was only a small step from this to the argument that high Muslim fertility was immutable, arising inevitably from elements in Islamic belief and family and social structures.


Gavin Jones has followed an academic career closely linked with consultancy assignments in the areas of population and development, educational planning, and urban planning. Mehtab S. Karim is the Head of the Reproductive Health Program and Professor of Demography at the Department of Community Health Sciences, Aga Khan University . He is also the President of the Population Association of Pakistan.